The Way She Feels
by HalyJayde
Summary: Bella, abused and hurt. Edward, her bestfriend. Miles apart, can he help her from herself? AH, Canon Pairings :D M for later content and beating/abuse content
1. Prologue

_SM owns everything!_

_first fanfic so please be nice :D  
I dont know if i like the story yet. Depends on reviews, if i get any :D_

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Prologue:

Pain. That is all there is sometimes. Pain and hurt and worry. Then, there is strength. I want strength, because without strength I cant go beyond this threshold. I cant be witness to what lies beyond these doors. A phone call can change your life, but when the time comes to alter your life by taking those steps and seeing the one you love hurt, hurt due to actions you cant comprehend, what can you do? All you can do is hope and pray that you have enough strength, that THEY have enough strength. That's all that anyone ever needs . . . is strength.


	2. 1 Hurt

Ch1

BPOV

"YOU STUPID BITCH! YOU CANT EVEN DO A SIMPLE TASK?"

"dad, im sorry! I'll –"

"NO! No more excuses _Isabella_!"

He said my name as if it were worse than the dirt beneath his feet. His own daughter. Why couldn't he see that? Why couldn't he see me? The words behind charlie's lips came out and hit me harder and harder each time, but this time I just tuned out. I just zoned, hoping and praying that these words wouldn't turn into the uncontrollable actions they regularly did.

"ISABELLA! Are you even listening to me?"

"yes dad, I promi –"

"YOU FUCKING LITTLE LIAR!" he yelled as his hand came into contact with my right cheek. I fell into the door frame, and slowly made my descent to the floor, where he would hopefully lose interest and just move on.

"And to think that you share my name. You're worthless, a dog……. I want you to get up.", he sneered.

"Bella, did you not hear me?"

I heard him. There was almost never a single time when I didn't. I'd heard his silent pleas the day we had both been in the waiting room. I'd heard his shouts, his cursed words directed at me after he found out the real reason behind her death. I'd heard his mumbles, his strong willed words, his drunken slurs as he began to spiral deeper and deeper into the man, or monster he is today. I heard everything. Even the hookers and mindless sluts he dragged home night after night, doing unspeakable things to them.

"If you prefer the ground, then I'll just have to make sure you star there a little longer"

Without any other warning than that, he kicked me in the gut, as hard as he physically could in his drunken haze. The wind flew out from my lungs and stayed out as he repeatedly kicked me over and over. I could taste blood, and could feel the scream from both my stomach and the surely broken ribs I must have, with every blow. The kicking seized, and Charlie started to panic.

"Bella?"

Was he actually panicking? I really must have passed out this time. But the look on charlies face did not betray his voice.

"Bella, why're you bleeding?"

"Im not." I whezed

"Yes, you are."

I checked myself mentally quickly, hoping to find the source of the blood he could see. My skin could not have pierced from the kicks, could it? I could smell the rust and salt and immediately felt even more feint than before. Charlie wasn't lying, I was bleeding.

"Bella, I need to take you to the hospital, no, I cant. They'll see it all. Don't panic bella, it'll be alright, just get the first aid kit out and things will be okay."

He thought the bleeding was his fault? Honestly? How could he, he didn't grab a knife and put those gashes in my leg, tonight or any other night. I'd do them myself, but Charlie needent know that. He could barely rermember most beatings anyways.

"yes dad." I barely managed to whisper.

"good girl."

He took another swig from the almost empty bottle of whisky he'd indulged in tonight, and turned towards the lounge room. The TV roared to life, and sounds of the game wafted through to the kitchen floor where I was laying. The blood was still pouring from my thigh. I attempted making a move, standing, and found it near impossible with the pain in my stomach and chest. I was barely breathing anymore. As my breathing became more erratic and exceedingly shallow, black dots hazed my vision. My head was already on the floor, so there was no warning as to when I would start to lose control over my body and pass out, but I passed out eventually.

EPOV

Bella hadn't called yet. Not that it was odd, but still. . . highly different from what usually happened on a Saturday night. Being Bella's best friend wasn't a hard task when we were both back in forks, but it became exceedingly difficult throughout the years, after I moved to Seattle. Bella was supposed to make the move with me, we were accepted to the same college and had both organized our accommodation. Bella was just happy to be getting away from forks finally.

"Why do you hate it so much?", I'd asked her one afternoon whilst driving to Port Angeles.

"It's just. . . green. Everywhere. It's nice some of the time, but most of the time its just annoying." She'd replied quietly.

"Fair enough. But still, everyone we know is here in forks, how are you spose to just 'up and leave'?"

"Easy. Pack your bag and get goin'."

Bella made it sound like such an easy decision. It shouldn't have been a hard one for me to make either. Bella and I had grown up in the small town of Forks, Washington. Since the mere days of pre-school we'd stuck together. I looked out for her. She was small and fragile and everything that needed to be protected. She was probably once innocent, but im fairly sure Emmett, jasper and myself had illiminated any innocence left in Bella, until after her mum died when we were 14. Things were hard on bella then, and she retreated into herself. She didn't come around for dinner anymore, she didn't call, she barely spoke a word for months. My father, Carlisle even said her almost weekly visits to the hospital had dramatically decreased as well. But years later, at 18, we were both ready to leave forks for good.

The decision wasn't hard for me, it shouldn't have been anyways. My only real friend, apart from my older brother, his bestfriend and my twin sister Alice, Bella was the only real friend I had really kept whilst in forks. My entire family decided to relocate to Seattle, seeing as how Emmett, my older brother, his bestfriend and practically my brother as well – jasper, alice and myself had all been accepted into the same college there. It was a dream come true for my entire family to hear that Bella had also gotten accepted.

The only thing is, Bella and myself are now 20, and Bella never made it to Seattle. Charlie had put his foot down apparently and told bella that if she left, that was it. So Bella stayed behind. I didn't understand Charlie's threat, but apparently bella did. If Renee had still been alive, im sure that bella would be here with me, she wouldn't have become withdrawn during those teenage years and we would be spending every available moment together. It's simply a pity that things didn't turn out that way.

So when bella didn't call on Saturday night to tell me about anything and everything, it shouldn't have been too much of a worry. But the worry crawled into my stomach and loged there as I thought about Bella and the phone call that I never received.

BPOV

When I awoke, the sounds from the loundroom were non-existent. I slowely made my way up off the floor, only to be greeted by a pool of blood and a massive head rush. The cuts in my thigh's were okay, I'd defiantly seen worse when they'd been on my arms. The feint pinkish scars there now were the only reminders that there were ever cuts there. They crisscrossed over each other in a disguisting, yet beautiful manner. I made my way upstairs and to the bathroom, listening for any sounds that may mean that Charlie might want to come back for round two. But the snoring coming from the otherside of his door confirmed that he'd be out for hours, more precisely into the late afternoon tomorrow. I surveyed my face in the mirror, unsurprised to find a fresh bruise and slight cut in my cheek. A shower definitely seemed like a smart idea, and, working through the pain, I eased off my shirt and track pants.

The bruises that marked my skin were remarkable, even to me. Whilst my cuts had a haunted yet beautiful image to them, the bruises inflicted by Charlie's hands and feet were just disguisting. I turned away form the mirror, bile in my throat, and gingerly got into the shower. The warm water cascaded down my body, and pooled at my feet before going down the drain, spotted here and there with red. The recent cuts were already on there way to healing, they were just taking time, and Charlie had chosen the wrong night to hit me.

As I showered, my mind wandered away from my body and the pain and towards Edward. Shit, Edward! I raced, as fast as I could, to my bedroom to find a few missed calls and a message from Edward.

_I know your probably busy, its sat night. But I wanted to talk. I miss you – E_

I knew I forgot something, but when Charlie had started yelling it had only been 6.30. I glanced at my bedside clock. 1.43am. Shit, I was supposed to call at 7.30. So much for talking to Edward about anything. With the shower still running, I walked back to the bathroom and shut it off. I started re-evaluating my body. The pains from within my chest weren't normal. Not that there should be pain, but it hurt more now that it had ever previously.

I touched the sore rib lightly, hoping that it would not cause any more pain, only to have pain ricochet off my rib and around my body. I fought the sudden desire to reach for my raser blade. Tonight, although some control was needed, was not a good night. I was weak from exhaustion and from pain, so I made it back to my bed. My head hit the pillow and my last thought was of Edward and to hope that he wasn't too angry with me.


End file.
